Good vs. bad

The types of food I'll eat on good days

Breakfast
1/2 cup 0% greek yogurt
1/8 cup oats
1/2 oz raw walnuts
1/4 oz chia seeds
10g raisins
2-3 cups black coffee

Snack
1 cup fresh fruit

Lunch
1/2 head romain lettuce & 1cup spinach
1 or 2 small tomatoes
1/4 to 1/2 avocado
assorted fresh veggies such as carrots, mushrooms
celery, zucchini, peppers, cucumber
1/2 tbsp olive oil with 1 tbsp vinegar
3-4 oz fish or chicken
Water

Snack
3 squares of dark chocolate

Dinner
4 oz protein
2 cups veggies
1/2 cup brown rice with Bragg Aminos
Water

Snack
Sprouted grain toast with 1 TBSP PB

By the end of the day I will have had 8-12 glasses of
water

Good days happen 20-25 days of the month


The types of food I'll eat on a bad day

Breakfast
Bagel with cream cheese
Maybe a donut too

Snack
None because I'm feeling guilty from breakfast
and trying to make up for it

Lunch
By now I'm over the guilt and just crave more junk
so I splurge on something like:
Carl's Jr. Bacon Grilled Cheese Burger
Criss-cut fries
Diet Soda

Snack
An ice cream drumstick from the vending machine

Dinner
Pizza with the boyfriend
3 or 4 beers with a vodka shot (or 2)

Snack
Set off on a guilt/booze-fueled binge I'll snack until
bed on things like:
1 or 2 slices of sprouted wheat toast with butter
An apple with unlimited PB
1/2 a bag of Crunchmaster gluten free crackers
until I'm too full or too mad at myself to eat anymore

By the end of the day I will still have managed
to have my 8 glasses of water

Bad days can go from 1 or 2 days to much longer

downward spiral...i can only go up from here

eating clean was going great for awhile and then i just started a terrible downward spiral into eating poorly. when making my own meals, i did great but often i’d find excuses to eat out. when i say “eat out” i’m not talking healthy choices either…i’m talking: taco bell, carl’s jr., jack in the box, deli food; sandwiches & ice cream from the vending machines at work, snacks from the gas station on the corner, etc…

needless to say i’ve hit 160+ and am extremely displeased with myself. now i’m trying to gain control over my bad habits, yet again.

i look at it this way: at least i’m trying. i may fall off the wagon, i may gain weight, i may be heavier than i’ve ever been but i’m aware of it and i know what i have to do. i have several good influences in my life and i plan to utilize their support. i also rejoined sparkpeople, where i had great success in the past.

today i feel good, i feel positive and i just have to remember to always be present. i can’t just eat mindlessly, i can’t tell myself that one fast food meal won’t ruin me (because 1 meal leads to another and another and another…), i need to be aware of everything i eat and make the right choices. i cannot yo-yo anymore because with each yo-yo cycle i gain more. i can’t take the chance that by falling off again, i’ll gain another 5 pounds, then another, etc…i need to control it now and maintain!