eating clean was going great for awhile and then i just started a terrible downward spiral into eating poorly. when making my own meals, i did great but often i’d find excuses to eat out. when i say “eat out” i’m not talking healthy choices either…i’m talking: taco bell, carl’s jr., jack in the box, deli food; sandwiches & ice cream from the vending machines at work, snacks from the gas station on the corner, etc…
needless to say i’ve hit 160+ and am extremely displeased with myself. now i’m trying to gain control over my bad habits, yet again.
i look at it this way: at least i’m trying. i may fall off the wagon, i may gain weight, i may be heavier than i’ve ever been but i’m aware of it and i know what i have to do. i have several good influences in my life and i plan to utilize their support. i also rejoined sparkpeople, where i had great success in the past.
today i feel good, i feel positive and i just have to remember to always be present. i can’t just eat mindlessly, i can’t tell myself that one fast food meal won’t ruin me (because 1 meal leads to another and another and another…), i need to be aware of everything i eat and make the right choices. i cannot yo-yo anymore because with each yo-yo cycle i gain more. i can’t take the chance that by falling off again, i’ll gain another 5 pounds, then another, etc…i need to control it now and maintain!
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